Of Swords and Staffs
by piffluvsu
Summary: Kagome overhears miroku, Inuyasha, and Sesshoumaru arguing over their weapons.....somewhat pervy....
1. Default Chapter

Um...yes... 2nd fic. Sry if it's a bit.....odd.....  
  
_______  
  
One lovely day when Kagome was climbing out of the well linking her  
modern(very modern....w/ creepy old guys in golf pants) world with feudal  
Japan, she heard screaming in the distance.  
  
"MY SWORD IS BETTER!!!"  
  
"NO!! MINE IS!!"  
  
"Now come on, Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru. You BOTH know my staff is WAY  
better!!!"  
  
Inuyasha "Mine is bigger!!!!!"  
  
Sesshoumaru "At least I can handle mine."  
  
"But mine is HUGE!!!"  
  
Miroku "Puh. Size doesn't matter. Just how well you use it."  
  
Sesshoumaru "Yeah."  
  
Inuyasha *muttering* "Mine is still bigger...."  
  
Sesshoumaru "And all you do is swing it around!"  
  
Miroku "Yeah."  
  
Inuyasha "You're both just jealous because mine is huge AND powerful!"  
  
Miroku and Sesshoumaru "Puh."  
  
______  
  
Sango comes up behind Kagome and sees her looking very creeped out and  
twitching.  
  
Sango "Uh, Kagome? Are you ok?"  
  
Kagome "Can you hear what they're talking about?!?!? I've never heard  
anything so...so....PERVERTED!!"  
  
Sango "well, the Hoshi is over there, so I don't see why you're surprised."  
  
*Shouts is the background(my sword is WAAAYY better!!! No! My staff is!!  
But mine is HUGE!!!)  
  
Sango "They're just talking about weapons."  
  
Kagome *whispers something to Sango*  
  
"Whisper whisper whisper SWORD whisper whisper ENVY whisper whisper  
PERVERTED whisper whisper."  
  
Sango's face goes white and she also starts twitching.  
  
Kagome "I wanna go home!!"  
  
"DON'T LEAVE ME WITH THEM, KAGOME!!!!!"  
  
"Fine." *pout*  
  
"Well...what should we do? Should we confront them?"  
  
"YES!! But, uh, we should probably cover our eyes when we get there. Just  
to be sure, Ya know?"  
  
"Ok."  
  
They venture off toward the "perverted" yellers, trying not to trip over  
bushes and tiny leprechauns with their eyes covered.  
  
_______  
  
Sesshoumaru "I still say my sword is better. And I have TWO swords!! You  
can't go wrong with two swords!!!"  
  
Inuyasha "Puh. Mine is still bigger."  
  
Miroku "I can do magical monk stuff with my staff!! Wanna see?"  
  
Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha "No."  
  
Miroku "Fine. You're just afraid my staff will be better."  
  
~Kagome and Sango pop up out of the trees with their eyes covered by their  
hands~  
  
Kagome "YOU ARE SUCH PERVERTS!!!! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!?!?!?!?"  
  
Inuyasha (to Sesshoumaru) "Why are they covering their eyes? You may be  
ugly, but— *Death glare from Sesshoumaru* -I mean the monk may be ugly, but not THAT  
ugly."  
  
________  
  
More later.....too lazy right now. Ya.... This 1s probably crap b/c I haven't  
had any1 proof it and see if it makes sense. I hope it does. 


	2. creepy memories

Yes......I HAVE UPDATED!!!! Wow...its been like....2 days. ANYWAY here ya go and  
thanx so much to evry1 who reviewed.  
  
~Jenna/Mika/Jonnass  
  
__________  
  
Inuyasha "Um, Kagome? Why are you covering your eyes like that?"  
  
Kagome *peeks though fingers* "Are you decent?"  
  
Sesshoumaru to Miroku "What does she mean by that?"  
  
Miroku "She must be scared of Inuyasha....ever since the bath incident...."  
  
~FLASHBACK~  
  
Kagome "YOU SMELL!!! TAKE A BATH!!!!"  
  
Inuyasha "NO!!!! BATHS ARE EEEEEVVIIILL!!!!"  
  
Kagome "But you AND your clothes are SMELLY!!"  
  
"FINE!!! *Inuyasha takes his clothes off and runs around screaming* ARE YOU  
HAPPY NOW!!?"  
  
Kagome "YAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! IT BURNS!!!!!!!!" She crumples to the ground  
twitching and covering her eyes.  
  
Shippo also starts to take his clothes off. "Hey, Inuyasha! Why is Kagome  
actin' all funny?"  
  
"It's that food she cooks. Now if she were smart like me and ate Ramen all  
the time—"  
  
~END FLASHBACK~  
  
Miroku "Yeah....that could scare anyone."  
  
Sesshoumaru shudders.  
  
________  
  
yes.....kim(1smartblonde(her stories r really good, too. Read 'em)  
  
more later...I have hw  
  
please review...I don't get enough insults....especially from the reviewers....  
  
^_^ syonara!! 


	3. Chocobo Robo

Kagome shudders at the memory of Inuyasha's bath time experience, and  
Inuyasha starts to grumble.  
  
"YOU were the one that said I needed my clothes washed!!" to Miroku "She  
did say that, right?"  
  
Kagome "Yeah, ,but you could've waited until I had left!"  
  
"You didn't say that..."  
  
Miroku "Sango, why are you covering your eyes?"  
  
Sango peeks through her fingers. "Kagome, they're decent."  
  
Sango and Kagome take their hands away from their eyes (simultaneously....  
insert creepy music here) and they look around.  
  
_________  
  
Inuyasha was stroking the tetsuiga and calling it his "pwecious," Miroku was plotting how he could kidnap Gandalf and snuggle with the hobbits (he may not be a wizard, but he can do magical monk stuff!!) and Sesshoumaru  
was sing "  
  
'Final Fantasy on Playstation 2  
With music by Nobou  
And graphics by Wong Chu!  
  
It is final Fantasy number 10  
Must save the world again  
Right here from my own den!**'"  
  
Inuyasha "Wrong anime, Sesshoumaru!!! Heh....stupid...."  
  
Sesshoumaru "Final Fantasy is NOT an anime!!! Well...they DID base it off  
it...but IT'S IN MY BRAIN!!!!!"  
  
Miroku to Inuyasha "Did that make any sense to you?"  
  
Inuyasha "No....of course not......"  
  
~TO BE........CONTINUED!!!~  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
yes....almost done...ALMOST!!!! Ya...I can probably finish it up either over the  
weekend or sometime during school....(^_^*) o yeah!!! Almost forgot....  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
**remix of "Chocobo" by Joe Redifer "Chocobo Robo Voice"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
thnx again to reviewers!! And if u don't review, please do (even if u hate  
it) I like to see what people think, ya know?  
  
LUV JENNA/mika/JONNASS 


	4. Jaken, the arse wipe

New chapter...enjoy  
  
______________  
  
Kagome "So what WERE you doing?"  
  
Inuyasha "Well, I wanted to ask your opinion about something.... Miroku's staff can do magical monk stuff, Sesshoumaru has two swords and is a master handler, but mine is HUGE!!!! And since you've been around the longest....  
which one is better?"  
  
Kagome "WHAT!?!?!? How am I supposed to know that!?!?" she starts to blush.  
  
Sango "I knew you were close to Inuyasha, but—"  
  
Kagome "You PERVERT, Inuyasha!!! OSWARI OSWARI OSWARI OSWARI OSWARI OSWARI  
OSWARI OSWARI!!!!!!"  
  
**POW**  
  
Kagome and Sango run away. FAR away.  
  
Inuyasha "What the HELL did she do THAT for!?!?!!?"  
  
Miroku "She does know we're talking about weaponry, right?"  
  
Inuyasha pales. "Uh, you mean, we were?"  
  
Sesshoumaru "What did you think we were talking about?"  
  
Inuyasha "Uh...that is...um...."  
  
Sesshoumaru "You really ARE perverted!"  
  
Miroku "How DARE you steal my title!!!!"  
  
Inuyasha looks around, and runs. "WAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Miroku "What was that all about?"  
  
Sesshoumaru "Now where was I? Oh yeah!!!  
  
'Hopefully I'll get through the game just fine.  
  
I don't know why I continue to play each game.  
They'll be making these 'til the end of time!  
  
Oh, I guess that I will pay  
  
For these new games 'til doomsday!!! **'"  
  
Jaken pops up out of the bushes, just as Miroku and Sesshoumaru finish  
shakin' their booties and singing. Jaken is mesmerized by the perfectly  
tone buttocks of Lord Sesshoumaru, until the hair on the Fluffy demon  
Lord's as—tail tingle.  
  
Sesshoumaru "GAH!! STOP STARIN' AT MY ARSE, ARSE WIPE!!!" He runs away and  
climbs up in a tree.  
  
Miroku "You! Imp!"  
  
Jaken "Yeeeees?"  
  
"Do you give foot massages?"  
  
"Well, I did, but Lord Sesshoumaru doesn't like it. He says I'm too  
fruity."  
  
"I'm sorry he thinks you're ga—"  
  
"But I'm not fruity!! I'm more like the other other other white meat when  
green is the new white!"  
  
"O kay........"  
  
~to be CONTINUED~  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
**Chocobo Robo voice remix by Joe Redifer. I love that song!  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
ya...this 1 might not be as funny as normal(if they're normally funny). My  
poochie died so I'm kinda sad. Being randomly insane helps, though.  
  
Jenna/MIKA/jonnass 


	5. chocolate covered raisins

Woohoo....story ending. I found the original story I had for this 1, but I'm not sure if I should post it or not. I think it's better, but noooo it just  
HAD to go and get lost...**found it** (^_^)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Inuyasha is sitting all by himself, talking to the Tetsuiga. "Yessss....it'ss mine...it came to usssss....yesssss, precioussss"  
  
Behind the bushes near Inuyasha sits Kagome and Sango.  
  
Sango whispers "He's been like that for three days now. Should we do something?"  
  
Kagome "Hmmmmm...."  
  
"OWCH!" Inuyasha had cut himself with the tetsuiga.  
  
Kagome "Nope! This is too amusing!"  
  
Sango "You're right! HAHAHA!! Chocolate covered raisins?"  
  
Kagome "Yes, please!"  
  
They sit for quite some time, stifling their laughter as Inuyasha tries to show the sword who's boss.  
  
~END~  
  
Sesshoumaru is still sitting in his tree, with his tail hanging out of it, when Rin comes up. Seeing her Lord Sesshoumaru's tail, she pulled it to see if the rest of him was there, as well, and a mass of furry hotness comes tumbling down.  
  
Sesshoumaru "OW!" he clutches his head in pain.  
  
Rin "There you are, Lord Sesshoumaru!  
  
Sesshoumaru gets up and starts to leave. "Come on, Rin. We're leaving."  
  
"To where, my Lord?"  
  
Sesshoumaru start to stroke his now filthy tail. "I need bubble bath."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I'm really disappointed about how this turned out, but hopefully some1 will  
like it.  
  
(-_-*) Syonara Jenna/mika/JONNASS 


End file.
